Shapless Clouds

I sat in the car today while Chris drove, I looked up at the sky and saw a few clouds by themselves and then a group of them together. I couldn't help but think about how pretty they were but how meaningless they truly are. They come and go like the rising and setting of the sun. But unlike the sun and moon which stay the constant size,they will never come back. Once they disappear they are gone, they will never reform into that same shape or the same color. What is the point to clouds? Shade? Prettiness? Or is it for the rain that comes out of a few of them? The live once and then they are gone forever, with nothing left behind, no memory except for if you get a picture of it.

Just like us, most of us will be forgotten 100 years from now, ok more then most of us, almost all of us, except for a handful of the lucky ones. Then for the ones who are remembered, how long will that be for? There will be a few that will live in the heart and minds of many, but for the rest of us, we will go into the ground and there our bodies will rest. Pictures that were taken will be all that is left of us. Our families will pull out the photo albums and they will look at them and talk about who we were, but it was so long ago that they do not know much about us. They will laugh at our clothes, our funny hair but they won't know our story. We live life for what? Trying to climb a ladder to reach the top, to end up alone, when you only have about 70-80 years of life. You have worked to be happy but you still end up miserable. Trying to make something of yourself, to live your life in comfort but having worked so hard for it, you never lived life at all.

Or yet no matter how hard you work, you can never get ahead, always ten steps behind. Never being able to get your feet off the ground because you always have to have your head in the game, instead of the clouds. Dreaming isn't allowed because it hinders your ability to stay on track.

Always searching for something, never seeming to find it. Reaching blindly for a tingle of a feeling you know is the right one. Screaming out to God, Crying for him, reaching for his hand, something, anything that will help you understand the meaning of the life you live, why you were chosen to walk the path that you do. Why weren't you one of the lucky ones? Why couldn't you have the easy life? Did we truly have to be punished for Eve eating that apple? Was it a good apple?

Some days you want to turn your "book of life" to the end and call it done, but yet you want to experience so much more in your life but know you never will. Acceptance is a word you have heard of, and have tried to use, but haven't figured out how to use it yet.....

***My thoughts are all over right now, none of them making sense, so I will call this the end for right now, maybe I will sort this out later, but for now, this is a wrap

Love Hugs and Blessings,
~J~